Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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