So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
