Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
