wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
so much tequila, so little girl.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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