i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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