My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
