i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
