We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
