Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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