There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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