So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
