Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
