I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
