I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
