I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Your tits are I can't wait for
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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