im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
