i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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