We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
