Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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