you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
