You kept calling me your small dog last night.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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