I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
