I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
