Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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