Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
