This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
