is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she peed on how many people?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
