the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
