i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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