your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
