i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You dont lie about slip and slides
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
