I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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