i would punch a child for taco bell
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
