My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
And then he peed in my hair
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