The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
