I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
