Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
