she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
