just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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