adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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