I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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