I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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