i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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