ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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