What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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