brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
wrigley field is MILF paradise
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
