Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize