is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
