I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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