So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
